Strange Things | Pulling Teeth

Pulling Teeth

erratic_prophet | 25 August, 2006 10:58

This is how I envisioned it: I get dropped off at the dentist's office. I'm knocked right out and when I come to, I've got no wisdom teeth. I get picked up with a lovely prescription of pain killers in my hand. I lie around in a semi-comatose, hopefully not very drooly, state and watch movies while the kids stay (quietly) away and let me recuperate.

Needless to say, that didn't happen.

What really did happen: I did get dropped off at the dentist. I made sure not to eat beforehand because I didn't know what they'd be jabbing me with and how I'd react to it, so I was a smidge hungry but I'd live. My lovely dentist waltzed in and asked if I'd eaten. This to me was a promising sign. Maybe they would knock me out! But, alas, it was not to be..

The Dentist: "You should've eaten because you won't be able to eat for several hours after, you know. Only liquids today."

Well, I had expected the liquid diet. I stocked up on soups just for it. I wasn't sure how long I'd be unable to eat, so I got quite a few cans. I also got some puddings and stuff for when I could venture into soft foods. I had this sucker planned.

So the dentist slaps on some numbing cream and goes to work with the needles. Then he jabs me some more and asks, "Do you feel this?" To which I replied, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Translated from Dental to English this, of course, means, "Hell yeah I feel that! Stop it!"

This was when I was stupid and opened my mouth. "Hey, weren't you taking both of my wisdom teeth out? You only numbed one side.." This meant that he immediately had to numb the other side. Without numbing cream. Large, stabby needles ramming in my my poor soft gums. I can clearly state that I, indeed, felt that.

What I really love is when the dentist tells you to rinse after they've numbed you. I'm sure this is just comic relief for them. I know if I had to deal with pain and whining all day, I'd make sure that I got to see an equal amount of dribbling and drooling into a small basin.

After that, he got to work. My lovely dentist always encourages me to keep my eyes closed during dental procedures, but I can't. I'm a peeker. Particularly when I hear odd noises. I just need to know what's going on. I feel so weird pressure on my jaw, I hear mild grunting, I need to know! I peek. The doctor's trying to crowbar my tooth out. This is disturbing enough without the weird crackling noise I'm hearing on top of noticing just how much exertion this is taking for the dentist. I'm waiting for him to brace a foot on my jaw to get better leverage.

So he levers one tooth and then the other and then come...The Pliers. At this point, I closed my eyes. I wished I had a pillow to hide my face behind. This was like a horror movie. Only I was living it. And that god awful crackling noise-- which, I was assured, is perfectly normal-- that I'll hear in my sleep for the next several months.

Luckily, the pliers went by quickly. The whole procedure was fast. Less than an hour all in all. Then I had to chomp down on some gauze and speak like Muffy from Connecticut for a few hours until the bleeding stopped. I'm a bleeder, the dentist told me. (I knew this from the time I got my tonsils out and I woke up covered in blood. That isn't something you want to see, believe me. Apparently, when they cut my tonsil, they severed a vein that decided to grow up into it and up shot a fountain of blood. They managed to stem the flow and patch me up, but they didn't decide to clean me up. I'm sure my mom loved seeing me covered in blood. I know I did. Just a tip, don't scream when you've just had your tonsils taken out. Even if you do look like Carrie in the prom scene.)

I was quickly shuttled home. With a lovely prescription for pain killers. Vicodin, to be precise. I decided that I'd take the pain killers the first day, and then switch over to ibuprofen thereafter. I tell you, people, I had this planned out. I should never plan things.

I don't know how people become addicted to Vicodin. After continued use, you become increasingly nauseated. After my third pill, near the time for my next dose, the room started spinning dramatically. Stomach lurching, I ran for the toilet. There I sat, hand clamped over mouth, willing myself not to puke because all I could think about was the dentist telling me that I could not spit at all today. Throwing up is way worse than spitting! I don't know how, but this thought actually worked and I did not become sick. I wanted to, but I didn't. After that, I switched straight over to ibuprofen.

Now I've heard all kinds of horror stories about pulling wisdom teeth. I even witnessed one of my own. So I expected a world of pain. I thought I'd be unable to work for, at least, the rest of the week. The funny thing? It doesn't hurt. The only sore part of me is my jaw. I don't even need to pop any pills if I don't want to. I can even eat almost regular food now and it's been two days since. Still would've liked to have been knocked out..

[Reply]

Congratulations R ! I am impressed. Like you, i too have heard and even seen some horror stories re wisdom teeth. You may have just convinced me to go for a check up ;o)

Michelle — 03 Sep 2006, 02:40